Swaganigans: More Flagging? SwagNope and a 2500 SB Grand Prize!

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Before we get on this this week’s fun I believe some housekeeping is in order. The amount of flagged comments on the last few Swaganigans has been downright disturbing. Comments are being flagged that have no business being flagged and it is undoubtedly harming both the integrity and enjoyment each week. Do not worry though, all flagged comments from last week’s Swaganigans have been unflagged and have been given proper weight when judging submissions (your chances of winning have not been affected). With that being said, enough is enough, indiscriminate flagging will not longer be tolerated. Users that are found to be indiscriminately flagging comments will have their commenting privileges revoked. Further trolling by said users may result in a ban. Trust me, you don’t want to get on Lady Elocin de Vieux Carre bad side.

And now back to the fun.

All this talk about flagging of comments made me think of one of my favorite’s Swaganigans of the past, the SwagNope. Maybe you need a quick reminder:

In 2007 humor columnist Gene Weingarten came up with something he called the Googlenope, which is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.  Examples in 2007 include “Squid Meringue Pie,” “What adorable garbage,” and “Please Play Your Bagpipes some more.”

In this week’s Swaganigans we want you to use Swagbucks Search and come up with some SwagNopes (No, it’s not a term for being DQed in a Survey). A SwagNope is a Swagbucks Search, the word combinations of which have never been found in the searchable online Swagiverse! In other words, Swagbucks searches that show up no results at all.

Now listen to what I have to say here because it is very important. Anyone can come up with a SwagNope – “c888ilokkkioptra!55″ is a SwagNope, or at least it was before it showed up here. But a really good SwagNope – whether it makes you snort milk out your nose, peer deeply into the human condition, and/or cc: everyone in your address book – is a much rarer find.

That’s where you – come in. We want you to use your humorous cleverness and intellectural horsepower to come up with the funniest, wittiest, most clever Swagnopes by the best Swagnopers. Yup, that is what we are calling you this week, so deal with it, again.

For those of you that like to follow steps:

  1. Go to search.swagbucks.com (or default your browser to Swagbucks Search, or search from the SwagButton or search from the mobile app)
  2. Come up with a witty, funny or clever phrase that you think will yield zero search results.

There are a few technical notes here, the first of which is the most important. You don’t win for just finding a SwagNope; you win for being funny, witty and clever. All phrases must be in English, use standard English letters and be able to be found in a reputable English dictionary. A list of several words (“piece, antler, wet, fortune “), keyboard blaber (“jkshakl dsjf; ksdjafalksd”), made up words (“I told the jonge not to sifcer the neeper”) and misspelled words (“Swabnucks is for suckers”) will result in an immediate disqualification. Oh, and to make you think a little harder, the use of the word Swagbucks is absolutely forbidden.

  1. Between quotation marks, type your witty, funny or clever phrase into the search bar from which your are searching. For example: “I came out of the darkness with a sponge on my horse.” If you don’t use quotation marks you are almost certain to get a bunch of hits. For instance, if you type Squid Meringue Pie without quotation marks, believe it or not, you get over 43 thousand hits. The reason is that Swagbucks Search will return any page that has any of those three words.
  2. Hit the search button.
  3. If your witty, funny or clever line comes up with zero search results (see #6 for what that means), enter it into the comments below. Don’t worry, the search engine creepy crawlers can’t find comments on the Swag Blog, so it will stay a SwagNope until next week (if you are a winner).
  4. Search engines try harder these days. So even when something is a “nope,” they will still try to show you something. And since Swagbucks Search is powered by Yahoo, a SwagNope looks a little bit different than GoogleNope. Alaso, a GoogleNope is not always a SwagNope. A SwagNope will result in a message that says “Including results for (whatever you SwagNope is). Search only for ‘(whatever your SwagNope is).’

That’s it guys. Have fun and we will remain forever vigilant with flaggers.

First time here? Have no idea what’s going on. Don’t worry. This post will answer all your questions.

Prizes

Grand Prize gets 2500 SB. Second Place gets 1500 SB. Other runners up get 1000 SB. Honorable mentions, if any, will receive 10 SB.  Any members that gets posted are immediately entered into the select group club of “Swagglers” all of whom are competing for the coveted Swaggler of the Year (i.e the member who gets posted the most). I hope the evilscotsman is keeping track?

Guidelines

Winners will  be selected on the basis of  humor, wit, wisdom, cleverness and originality. Write your entries in the comments below. 11 entries max. Please include your Swagname, city & state at the end of each entry. Entries must be posted on or before Sunday, January 31st at 11:59pm (in whatever time zone you happen to be in). Judges reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Employees of Prodege LLC and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes. All gift card prizes are paid out in SB points. To get SB points you must be a member of Swagbucks. If you are not yet a member of Swagbucks that’s ok, no one is perfect. But you can redeem yourself by joining here.

For information on Swaganigans rules and ultimate purpose click here.

Now it’s time to hand things over to the esteemed Prof Jockey to round up last week’s taxes.

LAST WEEK’S WINNERS

Last week we asked you for taxes:

Second Place Winner of 1500 SB

The meme tax…If you can read this meme, Chuck Norris is here to collect. (timidmouse, Longwood, FL)

Grand Prize Winner of 2500 SB

In Fargo, North Dakota, any murder, by wood chipper or other means, is subject to income tax if the ascribed act leads to royalties from film or television series. (stef19872006, Fargo, ND)

Runners Up (1000 SB each)

No underwear tax- don’t wear underwear and you get a tax deductible up to 5 grand. No proof needed! (Dianablackbird, Orange, CA)

Uptalk Tax – A new tax should be levied on Americans who end their statements with upward inflections that make them sound like questions (Permasmile, Thousand Oaks, CA)

$10 tax for eating a bagel from the wrong end. (wimmr, New York, NY)

Honorable Mentions (10 SB each)

Everyone must now own a platypus; if you fail to do so, you will be taxed yearly until you buy one. (princessb2, Milwaukee, WI)

A Chicago Hot Dog tax on people who put ketchup or catsup on their hot dog when your in chicago. prob like 5% on hotdogs that are regular size and 7% on footlongs. (danhere, Westchester, IL)

In-law tax: $10 every time a mother-in-law offers unsolicited parenting “tips” (Beckyy787, Schenectady, NY)

There should be a tax on employees that bring smelly lunches to work. If your lunch contains garlic, fish, or other foul smelling ingredients you are taxed $1 a day that they remain in the workplace. The proceeds from this tax then can only be used to purchase air fresheners, and cleaning services for storage containers. (i.e. communal refrigerators, microwaves, etc) (Lexinati, Lexington, KY)

Each person who has been referred by a Swaggler but who has not made the effort to join and become a dedicated swagger shall be taxed 10% of their earnings, said earnings to be transferred to the Swaggler who referred them. (mouseofthehouse. Lincoln,NE)

IN CONCLUSION

Follow @Swaggodore and @ProfessorJockey on Twitter and tweet at them. We’re not paying them to sit around and do nothing. In fact, we don’t pay them at all!  Now go challenge yourself!

-Professor Jockey and his horse Correct Answer

-Lady Elocin de Vieux Carre
Picture of the Swaggodore

– The Swaggodore


Source: Swag Blog

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